The Long Lost Diary of Kirisawa Hiko [finished]

This is the first time I've ever written something besides the word "study". I bet you won't be interested in my dark past. And I won't ever write about it. I'll bury it to death.


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(The pages before can't be found anywhere) *there are torn marks*

15th April XXXX

Love at first sight? Who would believe in those kind of thing? Love? ***k that! Humans? The worst creation God ever made. Every one is trash! Look at them! Look at reality! Evil roots from humans themselves. Destruction... That's the only thing humans are good at! The earth's beautiful nature... destroyed...
I hate humanity. I hate myself. We should all die, for the nature's sake.

16th April XXXX

Nothing special today.

17th April XXXX

School's as boring as ever. The same old things. EPIC. The same annoying chatters from those stupid girls. Always gossiping. It may be because my school's an all girls school. Going to a school like that.... I can't fight anymore.
This morning I read the newspaper and saw articles....articles about humans rampaging AGAIN. It keeps getting worse day by day.

18th April XXXX

Today, when I was going home from school, I caught a glimpse at a really beautiful boy with jet black hair. His silky hair glowed as the sun set. It's as if that boy has wings behind him.I wonder who that was. That was all I can think of all day.

19th April XXXX

I was shocked to find that boy from before at the park I pass every day. He was sleeping like a log. It's as just as I was seeing a painting. I approached him. He was truly beautiful and gorgeous. I unconsciously stroked his silky jet black hair and stared at his face and at the pair of big cross earrings he was wearing. Then, I ran away the moment he suddenly opened his eyes. Did he see me? I'm busted.

20th April XXXX

Scared.... Anxious... Did that boy see me? Did he know I was there? I couldn't concentrate at all.
When I was passing by the park, I didn't see that boy anywhere. Maybe he didn't see me... Suddenly at night, someone knocked at my window. Is there a bird or something? I opened the curtains to make sure. GOD! It was that freaking boy! How on earth could he climb up here?!
For the very first time, that boy spoke. Even his voice was beautiful. It was soothing as well as seducing. It sent shivers down to my spine. I remembered well what he said at that time. Just 3 sentences. "Good evening. I'm Ryo, Kaoru Ryosuke. Are you the one who was at the park yesterday? Thank you for waking me up." Just those words. There was silence. I couldn't muster up any strength to reply. I wasn't scared or surprised at all... It's just that my heart pounded so hard I could even hear my own heart beat. He smiled at me and went away.... What's this feeling? Is it love? I can't believe IT!!!

I am someone who hates humanity. I hate myself, I hate others, I don't care about the world. The word I hate most is Love. Why would I be interested in other people? Who is that boy?

21st April XXXX

My mind was full of that boy. How did he know where I live?

22nd April XXXX

After school, I saw that boy again, the one named Kaoru Ryosuke. But this time, I saw him with another man. A 20 year old business man, and a really good looking one, I suppose. Because of my curiosity I followed them to a cafe. And to an alleyway. Suddenly, to my surprise, they kissed. On the lips. I wasn't that surprised about the kissing. What I'm surprised of is that I found myself imagining I was the one kissing that boy. And how soft his lips will be. My heart was beating really fast. Am I sick?

23rd April XXXX

I knew I wasn't a girlish girl. But to think that I dreamed about me, being a guy, and flirt with that boy... I am not interested in 2 guys' love, but I am not against it too. But why a guy?

24th April XXXX

I met with that boy again. He gave me a necklace and said "Thank you". And then he said that he will be leaving this town soon. I unconsciously pulled his arm and asked him to take me with him. He had a surprised expression on his face. "I'm sorry." He said, leaving me there.

25th April XXXX

I searched frantically for that boy. I even skipped school for it. I felt that meeting him was my destiny, I want to stay with him, I want to protect him. And...I finally found that boy, no, I finally found Ryosuke. I desperately told him that I want to be with him. "I need you. Ever since I met you, I couldn't get my mind straight. It is my destiny to meet you. I'm willing to do anything. What am I supposed to do to be with you, Ryosuke?" Those words flew out of my mouth. When I realized it, I was kneeling in front of him, holding, and kissed his hand. I looked up to his face. When I looked again closely, he's really pretty, he has long eyelashes, black silky hair, glittering black eyes, and there is a nobility aura around him. I guess he is really different than me. I thought that he was a rich boy somewhere. He smiled at me. He apologized from not explaining things. Do you regret meeting with me? I thought. But, the more I listened to his story, the more messed up my mind became. End Earth? King? Immortality? That's all just like in a fairy tale.

He said that I couldn't go there unless I die or unless I gave something irreplaceable and make a contract with him. I told him that I don't even care if I die, on the other hand, isn't it great if I die? There won't be anyone to be burdened with my existence, the population of the world will just be reduced by 1. No one will care. But, he said that he wouldn't like that. He didn't want me to die just because of him. And also, he explained that he is cursed and can't love anyone. He is also homosexual. But, really, nothing surprises me anymore.

And so, I came up with an idea. Something irreplaceable. Organs? Memories?....... How about I threw away my humanity? I don't care what kind of being I will be. Ryo looked shocked. I bet he never thought I will come up with that kind of insane idea. He made a pact with me. We exchanged bloods, I drank his and he drank mine. It was the most pleasurable thing in my life. I can't believe that blood is that delicious..... My body became hot, my head felt dizzy. I almost lost my consciousness.

When I was sober, I looked at my hands. Are my hands this big before? I felt my body. I glanced at Ryo and he was surprised too. I did remember he said that he wouldn't know the outcome of the pact. But, still... I lost my humanity. I looked human, but I'm not. I'm immortal. Except that I need blood or pleasure to live. Just like a demon.... And I also lost my gender. I am now not a girl and not a boy. I can change into both but I no longer can continue my generation. Well, it's not much of a lost since I could be together with my king, Ryo.

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On the last page.

"I'll serve you for the rest of eternity, my love."


Hiko stopped writing diaries since that day. She wouldn't want to write diaries for eternity.